"I only burned rice once."
"Rice isn't supposed to smoke, Rowan."
Lila laughed for the first time that week.
I dropped out of community college.
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***
Three years passed like that. They were not easy or clean, but we stayed together.
I learned which teachers assumed I was irresponsible before I even opened my mouth. I learned how to argue with insurance companies while packing lunches. I learned to put back my fancy deodorant so Tommy could get his favorite cereal.
One night, Sybil found me in the kitchen, staring at the electric bill.
"You're doing the face again," she said.
"What face?"
"The 'I might sell a kidney, but only after coupons' face."
Three years passed.
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I laughed because the other option was folding in half. "Go to bed, Sybil."
She sat across from me instead. "Show me the bill."
"No."
"Rowan."
"You are eleven. Your job is to hate vegetables and lose library books."
"And your job is to stop pretending you're not scared."
I folded the piece of paper and slid it under my notebook.
"Show me the bill."
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Sybil reached across the table. "You don't have to do everything alone. You have us."
That made it worse. I wanted them to be kids, not backup adults.
***
Aunt Denise came by the next afternoon.
She brought no groceries and no treats for the kids, just perfume, pearls, and endless commentary.
"This house is falling apart," she said, running one finger along the hallway wall. "Don't you have access to the funds yet?"
"Not yet."
Her mouth tightened. "What's taking so long?"
