"It isn't that simple."
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***
Court was worse.
Aunt Denise arrived in pearls and a cream coat, with Uncle Warren carrying a folder like they had already won.
"I love those children," Aunt Denise told the judge, dabbing under one dry eye. "But Rowan is a child himself. I can take the youngest two until things settle. I'm willing and able."
Phoebe grabbed Lila's sleeve.
"The youngest two? Do you even know their names?" I asked. "Why are you talking about them like they're luggage?"
"I love those children."
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Aunt Denise turned to me. "Sweetheart, don't be selfish. You can't save everyone."
I faced the judge. "I'm not trying to save everyone. I'm trying to keep my family together."
The judge leaned forward. "Son, do you understand what you're asking for?"
"Not fully, Your Honor," I said. "But I have to do it. For them and for my parents."
The courtroom went still.
I swallowed. "I know Tommy's inhaler schedule. I know Benji hides food when he's scared. I know Sybil gets mean when she's hungry. I know Ethan and Adam need space. I know Lila and Phoebe sleep with the hallway light on."
"I'm trying to keep my family together."
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Lila broke first. "I don't want Aunt Denise. I want Rowan."
Phoebe nodded hard. "Me too."
Then Tommy burst into tears, and Benji followed, and even Adam covered his face.
***
Two weeks later, temporary guardianship became mine.
I celebrated by throwing up in the courthouse bathroom.
After that, life became a list of groceries, bills, shoes, permission slips, nightmares, and who had lied about having nightmares.
"I don't want Aunt Denise. I want Rowan."
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I dropped out of community college and worked wherever I could. I took warehouse mornings, grocery shifts, and weekend deliveries.
I learned that you could sleep standing up.
Mrs. Dalrymple next door became our miracle in orthopedic shoes.
She watched the kids and refused every dollar I offered.
"Pay me back by not burning down your kitchen," she said, setting a casserole on our counter.
