"I know about the lymphoma."
***
The next evening, I returned home with the boys. The house felt hollow, as if haunted by old laughter. Joshua was at the kitchen table, his eyes red and a mug of untouched coffee in his hands.
He looked up. "Hanna..."
"You let me quit my job, Joshua," I said. "You let me fall in love with those boys. You let me believe this was our dream."
His face crumpled. "I wanted you to have a family."
"No." My voice shook. "You wanted to decide what happened to me after you were gone."
He covered his face. "I told myself I was protecting you. But really, I was protecting myself from watching you choose whether to stay."
"I wanted you to have a family."
That one landed between us like broken glass.
"You made me a mother without telling me I might be raising them alone," I said. "You don't get to call that love and expect gratitude."
He started crying again, but I didn't soften. Not yet.
"I'm here because Matthew and William need their father," I said. "And because, if there is time left, it will be lived in the truth."
