"Josh, are you okay?"
He barely looked up from his screen. "Just tired. It's been a long day."
"Are you... I mean, are you happy?"
He closed his laptop a little too hard. "Hanna, you know I am. We wanted this, right?"
I nodded, but something twisted in my chest.
"I mean, are you happy?"
***
Then, one afternoon, the boys finally napped at the same time. I tiptoed down the hall, desperate for a moment to breathe. I passed Joshua's office and heard him, his voice low, almost pleading.
"I can't keep lying to her. She thinks I wanted a family with her..."
My hand flew to my mouth. He was talking about me.
I pressed closer, my heart thudding.
"But I didn't adopt the boys because of this," Joshua said, on the verge of tears.
There was a pause, then a rough sob.
